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I wandered into a crystal store to buy some rose quartz, a stone renowned for its heart-opening capabilities. On my way to the rose quartz shelf I noticed a rotund psychic, sitting in the back of the store, casually texting and lounging on a chair in front of some mystical books. As I approached, she closed her eyes; I assumed she was entering a deeply meditative state, or she was just dozing. I stood in front of her, waiting, until her eyelids shot open, revealing two bulging eyes. We made contact, silently agreeing on our next move. She led me to a room in the back. Its walls were pale yellow.

As we sat down to begin the reading, I set my intention. I would ask about love. It’s a topic I haven’t broached in a while because I’ve been taking some time to work on myself. As she tuned in to her third eye and the infinite beyond and probably a bunch of other crystals at this store, I realized that I would have to tell her everything if I wanted to get some . . . answers.

Read the full Crystal Paradise column on CRAVE:  http://www.craveonline.com/art/columns/863271-psychic-readings-quartz-crystals-sexting