Tinderization of Feeling / The New Inquiry


LIVING with a sense of overwhelming choice means exerting an insane amount of emotional energy in making the most banal decisions. What should you watch on Hulu tonight? Make a Facebook status asking for recommendations. Tweet the question to your followers. After perusing for an hour, settle comfortably into Seinfeld, which you’ve seen a million times before. Wonder whether you made the wrong choice. Do it again anyway. There is some comfort in sameness.

When the mundane act of choosing a television show to watch is emotionally taxing, relationships are next-level shit. But millennials have a solution: Tinderize it. Tinderize it all.

In an increasingly networked society where people are always ready to connect, the pacing of emotional intimacy has to be constantly tweaked. Dating apps facilitate rapid connection and constant communication, but trusting someone still takes as long as it ever did. So Tinder demands a certain amount of emotional dissociation — to distance oneself from emotions by treating connecting to others as a game. The only criteria is to choose and choose fast, choose as many as you want, choose so many you’re not even making a choice. This simplicity can provide sweet relief.

Read the full essay co-authored with Eve Peyser on The New Inquiryhttp://thenewinquiry.com/essays/tinderization-of-feeling/


Valentine’s Day Radio Interview with Mark TowheyNEWSTALK 1010 (Toronto), February 14, 2016.

Hubert Guillaud, “How to Win at Tinder?” Le Monde (France), February, 13, 2016.

Zachary Siegel, “Love in the Time of Tech: Your Brain on Dating Apps”The Daily Beast, February 2, 2016.

Veni Peace, “The revolution of social media”, Tovima.gr (Greece), January 31, 2016.

“Tinderização do sentimento”, Manual Do Usuário, translation into Brazilian Portuguese.

“In the Media: January 2016”The Writes of Women blog, January 24, 2016.

“Yang Gemar Cari Jodoh dengan Tinder Hati-hati!”JPNN Indonesia, January 23, 2016.

“L’application Tinder serait-elle en train de changer notre façon de penser?”Biba Magazine France, January 18, 2016.

Hrag Vartanian, “Required Reading: Weekend of January 17,” Hyperallergic, January 17, 2016.

Kate Ng, “Is Tinder changing the way we think?” The Independent, January 17, 2016.

Leah Mandel, “The Fader Weekend Reading List,” The Fader, January 15, 2016.

Cheyenne McDonald, “Is Tinder Changing the Way We Think?” Daily Mail, January 15, 2016.