Subvert Valentine’s Day: remake the celebration of love in your own image / The Guardian

Valentine’s Day is an awkward, sensitive holiday whether or not you have a significant other and, perhaps especially, if you are single. To be “without love” on a day designed to celebrate it as loudly and publicly as possible can make even the most secure single person question their life. But there’s more love to […]

I don’t call myself bisexual – I let my stories tell themselves / The Guardian

I’ve always felt attracted to both men and women, but usually not at the same time. One day it’s more dude-focused and then it’s back to women, but it always feels fluid. This has nothing to do with my ability to be in a committed relationship with one person. Actually, open or poly relationships have […]

When my 90s-era online love showed up, I knew my memories were a fantasy / The Guardian

In my early 20s, I found myself in New York City doing an internship in Midtown Manhattan. I didn’t know that many people in New York, I was always shivering in the heavy air-conditioning, and my boss didn’t seem interested in being my friend. I found myself thinking about Rebecca, the first girl that, as […]

My mother, myself / The Guardian

I had been living in Los Angeles for a little over a year when my parents came to visit – finally, reluctantly. They were upset that I’d moved so far away from Chicago; they would have preferred I relocate to New York City, but they told me that they just wanted me to be happy. […]

Even the most car-centric city holds joys for pedestrians / The Guardian

Walking through most American cities can be a desolating experience. Few are made for people like me, the pedestrian, who choose strolling and observing over cruising fast through constructed landscapes. Yet, there’s a perverse pleasure in walking through cities designed for cars; these supposed “open roads” weren’t made for us. Advertising’s promise of freedom is […]

The mall is part of the American experience / The Guardian

I love the mall as much as I love the urban walking experience, museums and movie theaters. Today the stripmall is not just a part of my everyday life in Los Angeles – a place that so well offers the paradox of American consumerism with a health-conscious urban elite – it is also a memory […]